A ticking behind my eyes
A timebomb with vision
Or days passing me by
One after One

we bend but don't move
sometimes our branches meet
we creak and groan
and when we break
a new generation is born
beneath our feet

Our love was a car crash
So we wrapped it around a tree
Me 4 U
U 4 Me

To be good

Life just leave me alone
To get on and become
Like pebbles made smooth by the sea
Or Earth warming the soles of feet
I must extend my reach

If I survive the dips and dives of these days
I will be on my way
To save you with my problems
Join me, I am too far gone
Together as one, lost to each other
Surviving the dips and dives of these days

Dear people of this Earth
Mimi ni mzungu
You can hear it in my voice
Mimi ni mwanamme
You can hear it in the way I talk
Every light has a shadow, every shadow has a light
Now listen...

These are the voices of the ancestors
In the form of music and rhythm
We do not understand the words but we understand their meaning
Deep down in a place that dances
A place where it echoes our birth beyond time
We were one, now listen...

We are expanding and moving
Just as with time
What I see is a beast
You may say is only human
Ndio mimi ni mshamba, mkorofi, mwizi
Ninazunguka kama mzungu nabaki bila kuhama
I will take my space like land, napanda maharagwe na sukuma
With you, na wewe tu.

Lakini kuna mengi
Swali langu ni moja tu
Which one do I hurt first
Ignorance or compassion?
Which one has survived the longest?
In deed or action

Cheza cheza
Play with my thoughts and emotions
Blow this beast a kiss
Mzungu na mwanamme
Like the smell of soil on my hands
You are under my nails woman, I can hear you
My palms bear the fruits of your labour
With you, na wewe tu
Now listen...

Wewe ni Mwafrika
I can see it in your rhythm
Wewe in mwanamke
I can see it in your thoughts
And the shape of your actions
Sasa cheza cheza
Dance with my thoughts and emotions

Dance with the two face
Sing with the voice and vision
The speed of light and sound
Will bring us back from the edge
Of oblivion, Now listen...

Mimi ni mzungu, nyinyi ni waafrika, people of this Earth
And we wish to be disowned
So that we may be owned again
On a trip to our roots, to wander without moving
Insh’allah, Mungu akipenda, Jah Rastafari!
Every light has a shadow, every shadow has a light
Now listen...

Is the Sun going up
or are we going down?
Pieces of darkness cut
Into the silence of this town

Are we going up?
On this quiet corner
me and you holding hands
As the Sun goes down

I have a love
I have a lover
One does not respect the other

That what one does with its hands
The other does with its heart
They feel each other inside out

I am lost to my lover
I am in love with another
One does not respect the other

I felt your strain, I looked up
As you pushed past me
Carrying a beast on your shoulders
While I sat packing my bags for a trip

I left on a plane and a sunset
As you wept and I followed your sweat
Until I got a glimpse of you, within sight and distance
And for a second you looked back, then up

That second was a lifetime
And everything held within
Death, Birth, Pure and Sin
But we saw we other, at least a glimpse

Let the truth be told!
Our eyes met and I followed your sweat
You shouldered your beast, I packed my bags for a trip
We escaped this life, but what about the next?

Something’s broke
Don’t know how to fix it
So we break it again
And reset it

Like bones shattered
Or good people
Looking for love and only finding trouble
Something’s broke

I am the one to find it
Good people don’t look for love in me
I will break it again
And you will be left to reset it

I see you
You don’t believe it
I feel you
You don’t know it
I smell you
You don’t conceive it
I touch you
You don’t feel it
I’m it

Women in my life
Women of this Earth
I bow down before thee
And give you your worth

To walk the distance
To beat your chests
To drain your body for your children
As well as those manly pests

To stand on street corners
Under neon lights
To collect fire wood
And cook under cool nights

Women in my life
Women of this Earth
I bow down before thee
And give you your worth

I am bound by the pain
And the pride of this land
A sorrow I hold in the palm of my hand
It links me to my birth

In a place of dust and dirt
In a place of birth and death
I follow my ancestors
As they show me life in shadows

It is where I belong
Voices and visions and rhythms
They are coming out of me
And you shall share them

Like hands touching while sharing food
Or bodies brushing in dance
We are bound brothers and sisters
In this place of dust and dirt

You could see history in the lines of her eyes
Her children in the shape of her breasts
Burden of the earth on the soles of their feet
Her beads tell me a story, one which I shall keep

A time where her father’s wishes came true
A time where there was water and food
Only to be filled with dust and heat
Across vast distances of time and space

Now we stand face to face, I follow her journey
Filled with pride and sorrow as I hold her hand
And study the burden of the earth on the soles of her feet
Her beads tell me a story, one for each day, one which I shall keep

I have seen the many faces of God
All I know is that I have been here before
Drank your streams and tasted your dirt
It is there under my fingernails
A reminder that we are immortal
As different forms within this Universe
As faces of God throughout time

Brought kicking and screaming into this world
Oh how I hate you dearest friend
For what you represent, your white skin
Now you haunt me

I scream with fear into this racist world
Oh how I love you dearest friend
For what you represent, black and blue
Now I haunt myself

We wish for us both life and death
That we should make a promise to each other
That you may hate me as much as I love you
And together kicking and screaming we may find a way back in

There is a wilderness
Beyond the horizon
Further than I can see

A place of danger and deceit
A place of joy and rapture
A place where men may walk on their feet

There is a wilderness
Beyond thought and vision
Deep, deep inside me

May I wander with you
Through darkness and light
So that only love shall remain

Climb upon my shoulders
so that you may see
But beware of the consequences
I may disappear and you may fall
They are out there searching for me

Björkarna börjar tappar sina löv
när alla går hem på olika håll
och jag går och fundera själv
att kärlek får kommer när den vill
men om du vill har mig
finns jag i din mobilens in-korg
men svara då!

Tog inga bilder
så det blir inga vittne
till det nya livet
jag hade från förr

Där lag en sten på marken
bland all andra stenar
men jag bestämde mig
för att sparka på just den

Den rullade iväg
och jag stod och tittade på
tills den försvann bland andra stenar
sen sprang jag efter

I committed suicide
but i just did not know
how much I clung to life
waiting in silence to hear your voice
waking early to smell your breath
making images of you with clay and stone
playing my tunes to let you go
now you go
you go

still the mind
and the heart will follow
dust raises to cover tracks
pushing insight through silence
still not lonely
still not free

We stole time and names
and called them our own
you could see it
in the veins of her neck
on the soles of her feet

She had captivated me
with silence and beauty
So I deceided to enslave her
as a way of buying time, to give it a name
in the face of defeat

Do you know about God and other things?
Yes
Ah, so you´ve read the Bible!?
No
But I´ve read the last page
So I know how it ends

Closing countries like chapters in a book
some ended in hope with exclamation marks
others in tears with smudge marks in the corner
and some just ended, full stop.

I saw a heart broken
on a wooden park bench
I picked it up and put it in my pocket
a trophy for my soul
and a reminder
death is a beginning

Panik!

Hur kan man tar tag i känslor
när man ar helt tom
Inga kännslor att tar i?

confusion is a soulless emotion
rising and falling in the throats
of days of forgotten regrets

True Love

when I walk through the door
true love greets me, empty
at the end of the day

I don't know you anymore,
you've changed
how do you expect to know me,
I change every day!

lines were running down cheeks
paths that led into an oblivion
behind the eyes it was magnified
the loss, the absolute loss
of the wanderings into temptation

I'm a pain glass window
where the wind blows thru
the locks are old and rusty
hinges creek like woken dreams
behind it is a space
pain to look straight through

Marbles of water
roll slopes of white
into mountain sheets
plagued with the disease

Yes Hello
Hello?
It's me again
Yes
I love you
Yes
I love me too

Life is a problem for me
However
I am no solution

We played chicken
and waited to see,
who got hurt first
you or me

Jag har mått så jävla bra
och så jävla dåligt
Det som kommer emellan
är livet!

I saw the curve of it
in the palm of my hand
Direction for a new generation
look, listen and turn

Staggering up those stairs
singing to Tom Waits
If only she knew
identity is inevitable
and my number has just come up
Bingo!

I imagine the woman standing next to me in the tram
is my woman, my soulmate, my life
I imagine the places we would go, the children we would raise
then she got off at the next stop
and was gone

I lapsed
and shadows past before me
I caught one in my sights
beneath those thin eyelids
as we past from day to night

A new life on Earth
one year ago
Has now grown roots
or so I have been told...

Blind

Let love go and it will follow you to the end of your days
on your shoulder or following behind
sometimes a shadow hiding around corners
sometimes the sun on your back

I am a wave at sea, longing for the shore
I am angry with the world, having decided to kill it
with love and nothing more

Stay on the path
I may be out in front
or have fallen behind

If you get lost
stretch out your hand
and I will be there

Right by your side

If i save this planet for you
will you live in it?
Because if you don't
I am gonna make you regret it!

I place this ball of clay
in the centre of your hand
and press it palm against palm
a map for us

To tell which lines to follow
but never to cross
to keep, love and to hold
till death do us part

Jag har blivit kär
men det går över nog
Jag samlar på baggage du ser
så tungt att snart stannar jag upp
och skaffar hus, barn och Volvo

Who knows where love waits
It can be found around a corner in Chinatown
over a table whilst sharing sounds
of those things that bound us in Earth

Courage

I draw a line from one star to the next
and count all the lifetimes in-between
So I make a promise to my heart
to follow this journey I am on
And be courageous with this love
that has fallen from the heavens upon me

A night in Northcote

There it was, a butterfly behind a rusty screen door
I was a shark riding a rainbow
hungry for this night
only wanting for more

So to appease my desire I drew a sketch in darkness
and secretly feasted on the vision of its wings
I wanted to catch that flutter inside me
deep inside behind my hearts locked door

But then sadness engulfed me
my hunger had gone, emptiness remained
an ocean of desire
like never felt before

So I decided to leave it there smiling
that beautiful butterfly, behind the rusty screen door...

True love turns grey

There is a place in my heart
that I visit from time to time
like a corner of a room

There I sit and patiently wait
bathing in the golden day
whilst dust shifts sand dunes

One year in

I am seeking a path of greatest resistance
appreciated but most sincerely lacking
I have decided to begin again
and again and again and again and again...

If I were to believe in a God
today would be just that day
The ocean was particularly deep and clear
and the waves perfectly crafted, just for me

When peace is so fragile
and only for a few
it is time to whisper words of justice
those in tune, between me and you

Lioness you have picked up the scent
for those crimes I did not commit
when you tear away the flesh
I am still grazing on that grassy plain

As you crouch all ready to pounce
you taste something very different
and panic wells inside my rib cage
stealing my heart away

I know I am slower than you, but I see you now
and am looking deep into your eyes Lioness
Even me, I taste something very different
It is just one more day on that grassy plain

Feeding on the anticipation of you

Cold comes creeping in
like the darkness caught
between this life and the next
damp dead corpses stuck to concrete

That try to escape up drain pipes
and through cracks in the wall
until they stick to me and call themselves shaddows
following me around all day till night fall

Baado Nguvu

Nataka lifti, sawa?
can u pick me on your way past
coz I am so down and dismayed
of what these people go through

If you think a thought
dont think it, it is lethal
it has been thought before

If you feel it deep
hold it in, keep it safe
it has been felt before

If you live this life,
breath it in, then out
it is living within you

Moving on

Keeping the faith is a virtue
my mother used to say
but the question is who wins first,
God or you?

This path is well trodden
I see those footsteps before
Compact and loose are my thoughts
Those of the evermore

So I descended the steps of Hell
and found an Angel waiting
then I turned and climbed again
a journey through the different levels of you

Mombasa

If you count the grains of sand in the sky
they are greater than the stars on earth
The coral cliffs are holding them up
their porus bodies falling one by one to their death

Turning shooting stars into sand and shells
only to bleed the light dry
To walk upon them, to collect them
like sand grains of time

But there is a place above the stars and cliffs
it is a division of life and death
Like how the onshore breeze bends the coconut tree
a morning prayer, bowing to the unknowing earth

The crisis in Kenya has as much to do with equity as it does with ethnicity

‘We are late sewing crops this year’ a friend sighs as we sit at a roadside café in the heart of Nairobi. The rain is falling heavily on the tarpaulin roof above and I have to concentrate closely to what my friends are saying. One says ‘All this rain going to waste, we don’t just have the world food crisis we have a Kenyan food crisis as well. We were too busy fighting and now we will pay through our stomachs’. I have returned to Kenya after six months absence and am trying to piece together what happened to cause the post election violence and what the future holds for my friends.

I ask them, how did you cope during the violence? I hear clearly one friend say ‘we turned on the TV, got scared, turned the TV off and tried to pretend it wasn’t happening’. So it was a shock, I asked? ‘No not really, we felt leading up to the elections that things were not good, you could feel it in the air’ another friend says. She continues, ‘what was a shock is that we didn’t expect, didn’t know that Kenyans were capable of such violence’. Another says ‘yes it has really damaged our sense of nationhood’.

So, I asked, this was an ethnic conflict? Another friend says ‘well yes and no’. The discussion then became lively. Many of my friends, from different ethnic groups, including the Luo, Luhya, Kalenjin and Kikuyu who were those groups at the heart of the post election violence voiced their opinions. It seems that whilst it did manifest itself in an ethnic conflict, underlying it was longstanding economic inequalities and access to land. It was as much about inequity as it was about ethnicity.

They tell me that in the Rift Valley where the conflict was and still is continuing the real issue is land. Prior to the arrival of the colonial powers much of the Rift Valley was traditionally the lands of different pastoralist groups comprising mainly the Kalenjin, Luhya and Masai. The land was highly productive and colonial powers soon took over large areas of the Rift Valley. The ‘White Highlands’ as they were known were those productive areas where the white farmers grew their lucrative export crops of tea and coffee.

With independence in 1963 many white farmers left the area and much of the land to the group that was made largely up by the first Government, the Kikuyu. Jomo Kenyatta the first Kenyan President and Kikuyu took much of the land. It is estimated his family still have more than 500,000 acres. But other politicians took and have since taken their slice of this productive land. Former President Daniel arap Moi (a Kalenjin) and his family are believed to have more than 300,000 acres and current President Mwai Kibaki in excess of 250,000 acres.

The first Kenyan Government resettled many Kikuyu from their homelands in central province to the Rift Valley and land was either given, leased or sold to many Kikuyu. It was believed by many that only the Kikuyu could continue making profitable incomes on the productive white highlands. Attitudes of Kikuyu superior intelligence amongst the ruling elite and increasing wealth of this group combined with local groups marginalization and increasing poverty levels has caused tensions to steadily rise to this day. To make things worse there has been steadily increasing population pressures in the area, putting more pressure on the availability of arable land. The Luo, from the Lake Victoria basin, perhaps the second most powerful group after the Kikuyu in Kenya have also been moving more into the rift valley over time as Lake Victoria resources continue to dwindle. The subsequent pressure of land for poorer people on which to survive combined with certain individuals (mostly Kikuyu) still owning large tracts of land created a tinderbox ready to ignite.

My friends tell me the 2002 elections was not one based on ethnicity. People wanted a change for a more equitable Kenya and so they united with Kibaki. One of his promises was land reform but when he came to power he did very little to address this. Things did not seem to go as people had hoped. Toward the end of 2007 Mr Raila Odinga, who had supported Kibaki in the 2002 election announced his candiancy under the Orange Democratic Movement (ODM) banner. He based much of his pre-election promises on dealing with social issues including that of land reform. Mr Odinga, a Luo, gained much sympathy from other groups in the Rift Valley including the Kalenjin. Then one friend tells me ‘when it appeared to many that Mr Odinga had been robbed of winning the election, the people had just had enough and took matters into their own hands’. The consequences are what we saw on our television screens across Australia.

I asked ‘so this sounds like another potential Rwanda? I mean there is a small ruling group (the Kikuyu) that many groups are now starting to target and get increasing hostile toward?’ My friends say that this is their greatest fear. They say that political leadership is now crucial to stop such a thing occurring. Even in Nairobi people are starting to talk badly of the Kikuyu. The notorious group ‘the Mungiki’ who are rife in Nairobi at present causing all kinds of social mayhem are linked closely to the Kikuyu and even allegedly prominent Kikuyu politicians. Someone says ‘how can such lawlessness be allowed to go on in the centre of Nairobi?’ They are clearly disappointed with their leaders, there is no way of hiding this.

Then someone says, ‘if only our leaders would follow the example shown by Kofi (Annan). This is a true African leader’. He continues ‘we saw the two sides of humanity during the crisis, we saw such evil but we saw such good and courage as well’. There is a silence and I sense that my friends, also from different ethnic groups, are happy the crisis didn’t split them but made them even stronger. Personally I witnessed Kenyan volunteers and emergency staff risking life and limb to assist those in need. I saw a great strength in Kenya in the midst of all this turmoil. This is something we should not overlook, it is easy to just say ‘it is happening again, those Africans are just hopeless’. But I tell you there are people here with a heart far greater than mine.

So where do we go from here I say? ‘Well it is a long road back, but people are sick of fighting, they now just want peace’ is the voice I hear. One of the problems are that people are scared to go back home and the people that forced them out are still not welcoming them back. But I am told that the land issue is one that can be solved, there are of course large tracts of land owned by wealthy people and politicians in the rift valley. So the question is essentially one of equity not ethnicity. As in many land disputes it is not a question of how much land there is available but who controls it. To solve this problem there needs to be a long process of peace building and land reform. But how will this happen I ask? Again the answer is leadership. We need leadership, true leadership. We are looking now to Mr Kibaki and Mr Odinga to work together to address and solve this issue. Mr Kibaki a Kikuyu and Mr Odinga a Luo now have a unique opportunity to address the long-standing grievances between their two ethnic groups. However, if they squander this opportunity Kenya may fall back into a situation even worse than what we saw in January and February this year. I hope for my friends that such a situation does not eventuate.

The political crisis combined with increasing food and petrol prices is putting the pinch on my Kenyan friends. I feel like in so many situations of this kind, so unbelievably inadequate and so out of place. I think they can sense this and as the rainfall continues to fall we order our food. My friend sitting next to me sees that I have lost my appetite and says jokingly, but with a sense of irony, ‘better eat up now, who knows when we will eat next’. With that we did as my friend and the TV does, we turned our fears off, pretended it wasn’t happening and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon together, like old times.

Stuart Thomson
27/4/2008

what is truth
what is wisdom
without the sound of roaches
crawling at its feet

I am the Alpha I am the Omega
I am God over all of you
little roaches
made in the likeness of me

On the search

I may be searching
but not yet free
because it is freedom I am searching for
do you see?

deep down in those dark valleys
beyond those hidden seas
I am a freedom fighter
fighting for love and peace

I maybe lost
that I am indeed
but I am still on the search
to find what is you and what is me